Grieving a Mothers Loss

Shakespeare Bats Cleanup by Ron Koertge is unlike any other style of book I have ever read.  Koertge, through his main character, Kevin, writes the entire story in poems.  Although the style is different, the storyline is similar.  Many of the themes are the same as the other books this class has explored throughout the semester.  The types of poems are explained by Kevin to make the book educational.  Grief is the theme I would like to discuss. 

             The first time Kevin grieves is when he is home in bed and missing baseball.  Up until now Kevin has been breathing and sleeping baseball.  Kevin is unsure what he is supposed to do now, that is in between times he is not sleeping, since it feels like that is all he does lately. He calls himself an invalid on page 6, so readers know he is grieving.  On page 8, Kevin recalls how good he used to be at baseball, showing no confidence of a strong return.  Not only is he grieving about baseball, but because of mono he is finally grieving his mom’s passing as well. 

Kevin’s mom brings him the most grief.  At first, Kevin is just recalling how his mom used to bring him toast, juice, and books when he was not feeling well (20).  Children often want to be pampered when they are not feeling well, so this is a time when Kevin would probably really like to have his mom.  He also notices his dad’s feelings, but they both act like they are okay.  Pg 29 is when we start to really think about Kevin’s mom.  The words ‘dark, angry blood’ paint a picture that gives readers a heavy heart.  The tone is angry and Kevin seems to be blaming himself for making her life harder by tramping in mud, but not on purpose.  He even includes a countdown of his mothers last few months, weeks and days giving readers a lump in their throats.  By the end of page 30 Kevin has reminisced and thanked his mom for being great and realizes he had praised her for being a great mom by the mug he made for her at the YMCA camp. 

After the funeral Kevin’s dad got thinner and thinner even though neighbors continued to bring meals for him and his dad.  It seemed to pain Kevin to see his dad stare blankly at the TV and cry randomly.  He did not know what to do or how to act without Kevin’s mom and Kevin did not know how to help his dad in the slightest (37).  I think writing poems is the first time Kevin is really dealing with his feelings of losing his mom. According to the ‘After the Funeral’ poem, Kevin had to be strong to help his dad through the loss and did not grieve right away. 

Kevin wonders why some of the neighbors continue to bring casseroles.  He wonders if they think he is hot or someone nice they could marry, because he believes his dad is really nice.  The fact that Kevin can think of his dad marring someone besides his mom shows he is healing and understands his mom is not coming back.  He also wants his dad to be happy again and that may mean his dad marrying another woman now that his mom has passed away (49).  Kevin is able to remember good memories, like when his mom went to the store dressed as a monster (50).  He also is able to look at his mom’s car and remember her.  He thinks of his mom’s one-armed hugs, which make him miss her, but also remember how caring she always was (65).  It is expected that just because he has grieved and dealt with the pain of losing his mom he will have memories that will elicit happy and sad feelings.  His dad also deals with the loss of Kevin’s mom by practicing his Spanish because Kevin’s mom would like that (94).  By the end of the book, both Kevin and his dad have worked through their feelings and are able to better handle what life throws at them with the help of one another and the good memories of Kevin’s mom. 

Shakespeare Identity

Kevin is really striving for identity in the Shakespeare Bats Cleanup.  In the beginning his identity is strictly about baseball, in the middle it is a mixture of baseball athlete/boyfriend/maybe a poet, then lastly I think he just does a salute to poetry and goes back to baseball.  I don't know if he ever really feels like he finds his identity, it seems like at the of the book he still hasn't quite gotten his identity.
By the beginning of the book Kevin is a baseball athlete that has come down with mono. After his father hands him a journal he begins to write poetry.  He is constantly upset that he cannot play, even by 3/4 of the book, he is complaining about the fact that he is no longer part of the starting lineup, and denying his poetry to Mira.
In the middle with the book he is beginning to escalate in his poetry.  He is becoming more rounded, moving from haikus to elegy and a fantastic free-verse.  He really discovers himself as a poet but when it comes to everyone else he denies his ability as a poet to his dad and Mira. He still has strong desires to be a baseball player.
By the end of the book he is back at baseball and often times his poems are about him getting back in shape or the way he is swinging and has the pitcher figured out.  I have this strong feeling that once he gets back into baseball his desire to write poetry will fall away.  So even though he has created an identity to the reader as a poet, he still feels more for the identity as an athlete.
Although he says that he hopes that poetry and him will be friends for a long time, the ending line that it is almost as cool as poetry leaves me with the feeling that if he had to choose he would still pick poetry. But maybe he is just throwing up a "tough-guy" guard.

Shakespeare Bats Cleanup

                 In Shakespeare Bats Cleanup by Ron Koertge, a fourteen year old boy named Kevin is sick with mono and cannot play baseball. He is trying to find is identity without the game of baseball in his life due to his friends not accepting him because of his mono. He writes in poetry about his difficulty situations he is dealing with. 

                First, Kevin explains to us about what he used to be. On page 8, he writes a poetry named “I Used to Be”. In this poem, he discusses what type of baseball player he was and how his practices were.

For example, Kevin writes:

A pretty good first baseman, I’m tall and

Limber. With one foot on the bag, I can

Really stretch. Somebody hits one right

Back to the pitcher, he can just about

Hand it to me.

Man, a good double play is beautiful.

That’s mostly what I miss, being part of

Something beautiful. I know, I know. Guys

Don’t’ talk about stuff like that. But his is

Between me and my journal.

Due to his mono, he cannot play. He misses the game; therefore writing about it is the next best thing. He believes he is losing his identity of being a baseball player since he cannot participate in playing.

Throughout the story, Kevin discoveries himself by writing in different forms of poetry. When he had mono he did not associate himself as a baseball player; he was a sick kid. After his mono is gone, he identifies himself as a baseball player again. Kevin writes:

So I’m not the Kevin I used to be. I’m just

glad to be back - - my heart beating

baseball, my nose sniffing baseball.

No more ghosting around my own house.

No more living secondhand. No more

postponing things. Just standing in my

cleats again, a clean uniform on my

unremarkable arms and legs, all of me

just ecstatic to be out there under the invisible stars, playing baseball again. 

Throughout the story, we learn Kevin goes through a sort of depression without baseball in this life. Baseball is a huge part of his life and being his inspiration to begin writing poetry to keep his mind off of the loss of baseball in his life. He realizes being sick was one of the best things that happened to him because he was able to write about stuff that he has trouble talking about such as: love, friendship, loss of his mother. Through poetry, Kevin found himself as a writer. He compares poetry to baseball as he stated “Almost as cool as baseball.” He will always be a baseball player; however, his new identity involves being a poetry writer also.

Love in Shakespeare Bats Cleanup

Kevin oh Kevin just a boy of 14

Lost his spot in the line up

Gave up his baseball dream

All because of this disease

Trying to recover with no energy

He sits day after day

Watching the shows on TV

Oh Kevin oh Kevin it’s going to be ok

He learns about love

From the guys on TV

He thinks about his mom high above

And boy does he feel weak

He remembers Goldie and the times in Bamboo

Thinking of what went wrong

What was a young boy to do

Heartbreak is hard but he carried on

 Coach can’t keep one around

He says away from those women

Dad’s hurting that Mom is in the ground

No one to talk to you feel so alone

Mira oh Mira you’re something so sweet

You love my poems you encourage me

We fit together so well, I feel so complete

I pray that you will forever stay with me

Functional Family

I see the theme of a functional family it stands out to me because two books we have read, Diary and Speak, have such dysfunctional families, families that cannot work together to accomplish a goal.  In Bats, the goal is for father and son to finish mourning the loss of their mother and wife and move on with living life.  We read on page one Kevin's father gives him a notebook and tells him, "You're gonna have a lot of time on your hands. Maybe you'll like writing something down." It is on page four, we are first introduced to the idea something is unusual with his mother when he writes, "When I was little and got sick, Mom used to read to me. Thinking about that's not going to help." Later in the book we learn his mother died much faster than predicted. The unexpected death of a parent is something a child should write about. Kevin's father is a writer himself so he makes the correct assumption in thinking that while Kevin is home sick with momo, he will have time to think about his mother and it is best to write those thoughts down. I don't think Kevin's father was expecting Kevin to develop into a poet. The poems "Mom's Car" (p58) and "And a Half-Order of Sestina, Please," (p50) both bring tears to my eyes every time I read them. They both have happy but difficult memories for a boy who has lost his mother. Kevin's father figures out he has been writing poetry and he suggests they go to a poetry reading (p80) and in the end of the book suggests Kevin read his poetry at an open reading (p112). Father and son have similar traits and accomplish the goal of healing the pain of loosing a member of their small family in similar ways; by writing away the pain of loss.

Romance in Shakespeare Bats Cleanup

Shakespeare Bats Cleanup, by Ron Koertge is written in the form of poetry by a 14 year old boy who was a jock, but is now bed-ridden due to mono. He turns to writing different types of poetry as an outlet both for his emotions and thoughts as well as to ease his boredom. Keven Boland used to be a baseball star as first baseman for his team, but finds himself unable to play. Suddenly, his great passion is taken away from him. Strangely, when he is able to play baseball again, he finds that he misses writing poetry and continues to do so. He still writes about his every day life, which, as a 14-year-old boy, includes girls . We get glimpses into his emotions and views through his poetry.

The first time that Kevin talks about a girl is in the poem See Ya Later which talks about a television show Kevin is watching where two guys try to win the same girl. He then has a dream about being on the show and losing both scenarios that he envisions. Here we get a short insight into Kevin's view of himself. We quickly learn that his mother has passed away and that he currently does not have a girlfriend. Although one is clearly more traumatizing than the other, both indicate that he may not feel like he is capable of keeping a girl in his life.

The second indicator that his self-confidence may be suffering is in a poem about his first "girlfriend." The poem Gone in Sixty Seconds tells how he got his first girlfriend through passing notes, but when she asked why he liked her, he didn't know. This led to a breakup. In the next poem, Confession, Kevin says that he only liked her because she had heard that she liked him first. Keep in mind that this was in middle school, so having a girlfriend meant being amazingly cool, not necessarily a sign of desperation. However, he was unable to keep his first girlfriend for very long.

Then we get to the poem about Goldie, we could call Goldie his first "love," she is certainly his first memorable girlfriend. The Thicket of Indiscretion tells us that they would sneak into the bamboo grove and make out, but he kept waiting for her to dump him, because she dumps everyone. Kevin became unable to enjoy the girlfriend he had (whether she was a good girlfriend or not is irrelevant) because he is worried about not being able to hold onto her.

We see the two male role-models that Kevin has struggling with the same issue. Kevin's dad lost his wife.  It was out of his control, but it is still a hard loss. Kevin's baseball coach is dumped in the middle of a game and even tells his players to "stay away from women" (Weird Advice). Maybe it's not so weird that Kevin is afraid of losing whatever girlfriend he has.

Finally, we meet Mira. She becomes Kevin's girlfriend and he is willing to go meet her very uptight father (Scrutiny), goes to a family gathering where he is ridiculed and threatened (Park/Ark, Batter Up), and even allows his friends to find out about his writing poetry (Hotmail) for her. It seems like Kevin has found a girl he will be able to keep. Again, since this is high school, there is a good chance that it will end. However, Kevin is with a girl who isn't like Goldie, who seems to share interests with him, and who he is willing to put up with a lot of grief for. Hopefully, after Mira, Kevin will stop being afraid of abandonment with girls.

This issue in Kevin's life would be easier to analyze if it were written in prose, but I don't think we would get the same emotion. We also wouldn't have the same story. The entire reason why he and Mira start talking is because he is writing something in the dugout. They then have a conversation about whether or not he lied about it being poetry. The relationship may be easier to understand if Kevin had been writing in full paragraphs, rather than being condensed into lines of poetry, but the relationship would not have happened in the first place.

Shakespeare Bats Cleanup

A mother's death, getting over mono, and poetry is the combination reader's get reading Shakespeare Bats Cleanup by Ron Koertge, which is a book that documents Kevin's, a young adolescent boy,  transitions or "coming of age" through difficult periods of his life and using his poetry to work through them.

First, Kevin is introduced to readers with mono and this is where he, now being a social outcast, picks up a book from his dad's office about poetry. With the newly found poetry book in have, Shakespeare Bats Cleanup's structure changes completely, in that now Kevin will translate his idea's through poetry structured writing. He goes through very important stages of life that is expressed with humor and his poetry.

Relationships are always awkward and discomforting, but Kevin ingeniously uses this "coming of age" transition to make for humorous poetry. For example Kevin writes:
"This is an eighth-grade romance, okay?
Which means X tells Y she likes me. I tell
Y to tell X I like her, too. The we start
sneaking looks at each other" (pg 13)
This explanation is a clear picture of what the rules of dating in the eight-grade are. The constant telling people who you like only to get a simple look or a glance. Kevin creates not only a humorous setting but also creates one with serious reasons behind it.

The most heart-wrenching poetry that Kevin provides for readers is the one about his mom. Kevin chooses to use a type of poem called a pantoum, which has repetition of the line before in the next stanza. Using the pantoum is more powerful for this part of his "coming of age" because grieving over a parent who has passed away is never easy at any age, and for poetry it expresses his lose and love for his mother. Kevin's word choices impacts the reader more than any other poem he creates,
"She always used to sing
standing over the sink.
She'd splash water and suds.
after taking off her rings.

Standing over the sink
was her time to be alone.
after taking off her rings.
Dad and I upstairs or outside" (pg 29).
It is present how much her individual touches was present in Kevin's mind. This poem is one that was difficult to write for his grieving as well as to keep the structural form of the poem. It is just another "coming of age" process that Kevin uses in his poetry.

Kevin's use of poetry creates a book that portrays a story of a boy in the middle of a "coming of age" process. He uses poetry for the awkward times of eighth-grade and intertwines humor to give the poem more meaning. Kevin not only uses humor but grief to show how much his complex poetry can help heal his complex feelings for the death of his mother. His poetry has been there through out the whole book to help him along in his transitional times to "come of age" and it has made him a different person than he ever thought he would be.

Symbolism: Trees

In Laurie Halse Anderson’s novel, Speak, there are various forms of symbolism occurring. Trees is the symbol which I feel relates most to the main character, Melinda. 

She reached her hand into the globe during art class and drew out the word, tree. While her first impression is that a tree is too simple and that she should draw again. After all, she learned to draw a tree in second grade. Mr. Freeman quickly stated, “You just chose your destiny, you can’t change that.” (page 12) 

 She first thought it would be an easy assignment, she later learned it wasn’t as simple as she imagined and she had a difficult time throughout the semester.

Trees are so prevalent in Melinda’s life. They show up various times throughout the course of Melinda's freshman year: during her rape, in her yard, and also during school. The use of trees really helps Melinda work through the pain Andy Evan’s has caused.

In one instance, Melinda is painting watercolors of trees that have been struck by lightning. “I try to paint them so they are nearly dead, but not totally.” (page 31) This is significant because it shows how much she is relating herself to the tree. She's not actually "saying" this, but she is expressing it in her work. She feels dead on the inside, but there is still a little light flickering inside of her- she’s not completely dead and there is still a spark of hope.

Toward the end of the novel, Melinda begins to see the light at the end of the tunnel. An example of this is when the pruning of the trees takes place. Her dad explains to her that by cutting off the damage, it’s then possible for the tree to grow again. He states, “You watch- by the end of summer, this tree will be the strongest on the block.” (page 187)

This strongly relates to Melinda. The damaged part of the tree is similar to her life following the rape. Once these parts are removed from the tree, it will grow and be strong. Melinda now realizes that she, too, can be strong and she can develop into her new identity. A stronger self.

So, just as trees go through stages of changes, that held true for Melinda, too.

She chose her destiny when she reached her hand into that globe and the subject matter that she initially thought was too simplistic actually ended up saving her.

Speak or Lack There of

In the novel Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, it has many aspects of symbolism that express many types of themes throughout the book, but the one that stands out more than any other is Melinda's art that she uses to project or show lack her very own emotion, art that she uses to save her life, and of course art that gives her back her voice.

Right away at the beginning of the semester Mr. Freeman assigns Melinda to create a piece of art using trees. "-by the end of the year, you must figure out how to makes your object say something, express an emotion, speak to every person who looks at it" (pg 12), in a way this is foreshadowing because she does not speak to anyone but will she convey her emotions to the audience she so desperately needs to hear her?

One of her first art pieces Melinda creates is a turkey made out of bones with a Barbie doll head on the inside of it. When Mr. Freeman sees the art he says, "Excellent, excellent. What does this say to you?" (pg 63). Of course, she is still not speaking at this point and Mr. Freeman rambles on about how it is about a girl in a bad holiday. What he mistakenly doesn't see is that Melinda is trying to speak through her art, he just doesn't know it yet. With the turkey being made out of bones it is representing the emptiness or how uncomfortable she is in her own skin, the Barbie doll head is herself trapped on the inside, hiding.

Next, Melinda is introduced to Picasso and his type of painting which is Cubism. "Seeing beyond what is on the surface. Moving both eyes and a nose to the side of the face. Dicing bodies... and rearranging them so that you have to really see them to see them " (pg 119), Melinda doesn't know it but she is talking about her own art when describing cubism, you have to rearrange things in order to see the real stuff. That you really have to dig deep to find the meaning behind her art.

Although you might not see at first glance but Melinda's art ultimately saves her life and gives her a voice. When Andy has her locked in the janitor closet she still has barely a voice, but when she grabs her turkey sculpture and breaks the mirror, it is here where the tables are turned. Melinda says, "I see the stubble on his chin, a fleck of white in the corner of his mouth. His lips are paralyzed. He cannot speak. That's good enough" (pg 195), it is here that she finally gains the courage to defeat the silence. She used her art to help her from a second rape, and it crushes all the emptiness she once had.

Finally, when Melinda is turning in her last art project Mr. Freeman says, "You get an A+. You worked hard at this " (pg 198), which he is right, she did work hard to overcome her silence and fight back. This shows that all her work and progress was for something and that she can finally start to heal.


Although there is not a lot of speaking going on in the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Melinda creates art that shows readers that she is trying to show herself through her art. Not only does her art show her emotion, the art that Melinda has created saves her from a second attack from Andy and also gives her her voice back once and for all.

Trees, trees everywhere!

I see trees as symbolism all through the book. 

• Melinda is a weeping rose bud, she once was a beautiful budding, young woman similar to the flowering tree in spring but being a 14-year-old victim of rape her beauty is not showing through as a high school freshmen.  I choose a weeping rosebud because her family is dysfunctional and because of the dysfunction she has no one to talk to about her attack. 
• Ivy from art class is a Kousa dogwood, beautiful blooms in the spring, purple to scarlet leaves in the fall.  A bushy tree that makes Melinda want to smile and write about "IT" on the bathroom stall. 
• Mr Freeman is a ficus tree or bush depending on the mood.  He gets mad with an attitude and uses "...words teachers don't normally use."  I had a ficus that would drop its leaves when ever I would water it too much, too little or move it from it's favorite window.
• David Petrakis is a stellar, noble pinn oak with lots of acorns, the acorns are useful for craft projects and to feed rabbits and squirrels.
• IT or Andy Beast.  I can't decide if he is a deadwood tree, they have very few leaves, grow in strange shapes and are not very pretty.  Or is he more like a mulberry tree? Mulberries are considered junk trees by arborists, they grow everywhere, become invasive on the prairie and choke out the indigenous trees in a couple of years. The berries are the most irritating, they don't taste good unless soaked in sugar, stain all articles of clothing and when the birds eat them the poop stains everything it spatters on; swing sets, cars, clothes on the clothes line.
• Mr Neck the athletic teacher tripping on steroids.  Defiantly a corn plant. They have thick stocks and can be temperamental and not grow for years but not die either it just sits there waiting.

Symbolization in Speak

Throughout the novel, Speak, we are faced with multiple types of symbolism. Our author goes to some deeper thinking about what is truly going on in the mind of Melinda, our main character. Our main character is a young girl in high school who's reputation at school has taken a different turn from what it used to be. She used to have the majority of the school as friends and she also used to receive good grades but as we see at the end of each marking period, although we don't get to see her last grades, that he grades are changing.

Melinda is taking at art class and on the first day of classes they are each to pick a slip of paper out of a globe, which states what they will be creating all year. Melinda draws out a tree. At first she read this and tries to return it but the art teacher does not let her. Through the semester we see Melinda draw countless numbers of trees and each one of them symbolizes something, where it's something that has happened to her or what she is feeling. At the beginning when she is having a hard time creating the teacher the teacher says that she needs to think beyond the trees and let the trees come second. One trees is depicted with a lighting going through the middle of it. It's like she has something happen to her that was quick and made her feel helpless much like the tree did when it had lightening going through it. Comparing that to the tree who is dying a slow and probably very painful death as in the diseased tree. Melinda is what is considered an outcast and has no friends, which as stated above is completely different then before. The trees are used for her as a exit to show but not tell at the same times what is going on in her world. And in the end it really does help her to express herself and make herself come out of her haze.

As stated above they have four marking periods where the grades are handed out. Throughout the year when we get to see her markings we see they slowly get worse and worse. By the third marking period we see her grades as D's and F's, except for of course art. As stated in class, I agree with the fact that these four marking periods are like the four seasons. The first marking period is like summer, not too out of the normal but not exactly what she wants. The second marking period is like fall, things are slowly starting to die off and so were he grades. With her grades being slightly under average, so under C's. And the third marking period as being winter, when things are at their worst. We see snow on the ground and things around us are cold and dead, much as with her grades. Her grades are at an all time low and things does seem to be getting any better. But then we get to spring, which is the forth marking period. Things are starting to come alive and good thing too, cause so is Melinda. Her art work is truly helping her to see what she can do without those friends and how she can become stronger. Although we don't get to see her last markings we do see her grow and come out from being an outcast.

The Symbolism of Grades in Speak

 “We all agree we are here to help. Let’s start with these grades. They are not what we expected from you Melissa” (Principal Principal, 114).

In Speak grades are used to symbolize the psychological welfare of Melinda. The book does not have chapters and has only four parts, “First Marking Period,” “Second Marking Period,” “Third Marking Period,” and “Fourth Marking Period.” The first three end with a report card showing the grades that she received during that marking period. The structure of the book is based on the grading system of Melinda’s school. I believe the author was making a statement here. I think the grades Melinda receives reflect the trauma she endured. The reader sees that deterioration of her grades and can tell how she is dealing with her trauma. But while the reader can see that the grades are a reflection of the psychological welfare of Melinda no one else seems to pick up on this.

              

Melinda’s grades symbolize her psychological state after the trauma she endured and this becomes apparent to the reader in subtle ways throughout the book. When Melinda receives the grades for her first marking period the reader knows that these grades aren’t normal for her because of her parents’ reaction. “My parents commanded me to stay after school every day for extra help from teachers” (50). But yet the parents don’t care to find out why she is doing so poorly. At the end of the second marking period the reader finds that her grades are even worse and she is in trouble for skipping class. The Principal holds a meeting with the guidance counselor and Melinda’s parents to resolve the issue. This is when we find that Melinda used to get really good grades. “Melinda. Last year you were a straight-B student, no behavior problems, few absences” (114). The meeting ends up being a failure because everyone fails to see the real issue. Her mom says, “She’s jerking us around to get attention” (114). Her dad blames the school, “What have you done to her? I had a sweet, loving girl last year, but as soon as she comes up here, she clams up, skips school, and flushes her grades down the toilet” (114). The guidance counselor blames the parents, “Do the two of you have marriage issues” (115)? The reader sees from this meeting that Melinda’s grades are more significant because of the fact that they were so good before. The reader realizes that her grades are following the same negative changes as Melinda herself.

Throughout the book the reader is given a very impersonal record of a very personal trauma. The grades tell the reader nothing about her but yet everything all at the same time. They don’t tell the reader how Melinda is feeling. They don’t tell why she is feeling that way or what she intends to do about it. What the grades do tell is that Melinda is getting worse. She is not improving and the reason why is because no one cares about anything but grades.  It’s not until the fourth marking period that she starts to make improvements.  She doesn’t get a reaction from her parents about her grades after the third marking period. They have either given up or realized that there is something far more serious than grades. At the end of the “Fourth Marking Period” grades are not listed. Melinda has finally spoken up and doesn’t need the grades to show the reader how she is progressing.  

Melinda’s grades symbolize the internal struggle she is experiencing. They give the reader a record of the progress Melinda is making while dealing with her trauma. The grades are only needed as long as she can’t speak for herself. Once she finally speaks up the grades disappear and aren’t necessary anymore.

The Life and Structure of a Tree

            In the novel Speak, there is a great deal of symbols ranging from names to nature.  Melinda has lost her voice and is slowly letting herself fade away.  Throughout the novel she is trying to complete her art project around her assigned topic of tree.  This is a significant not only to the story itself, but also to Melinda’s identity and painful path in finding her voice.

            In order to understand how symbolic the tree is to Melinda, we must explore the structure and life of a tree.  They go through “phases” of life.  They are dormant in the winter, with little life shown on the outside, and eventually go through spring where buds appear and they soon turn green.  The beginning of the novel shows Melinda in the phase of winter, she is dormant, with little life showing on the outside.  She even acknowledges the lifeless in her paintings by drawing her trees almost near death, with little life showing on the outside.

            Melinda randomly chooses the word tree from the bowl in art class and it becomes her assignment for the rest of the year to “turn that object into a piece of art” (12).  At first she believe it to be too easy, but she struggles with her trees the rest of the school year.  Melinda struggles with carving the linoleum blocks into trees that live up to her expectations.  She wants her tree to be “a strong old oak tree with a wide scarred trunk and thousands of leaves reaching to the sun” (78).  Melinda has used the tree to describe what she envisions for herself:  A strong young woman, who happens to have scars, but is still reaching onward with her life.  But we must focus on her onward struggle to accomplish not only carving the tree but also drawing the tree that lives up to this vision (not only for the tree, but herself as well).

            Melinda also stands alone, similar to most trees.  She has no true friends and her family has disregarded her. When remembering happier times with her family, Melinda also links trees to those cheerful moments. While studying fruit in biology, she reminisces about the time her family went to the apple orchard.  Not only does Melinda flashback visually to this past moment, but she can feel the sunshine, smell the apples and in lab she bites the apple to aid her in the memory (66).  It is when she begins to clean up her front yard that she connect to her father and mother again.  Melinda feels pulled to cleaning up the dead leaves in her yard.  She rakes until she is sore and fills a sort of exhilaration when she sees the life of green under all of the dead.  In getting rid of the dead leaves, her father notices the dead oak tree and comments that the tree is sick (167). (This is also reflective of Siobhan’s comment of the disease on Melinda’s lips (45).  Soon he has someone at the house cutting down the dead branches.  Her father goes so far as to claim that he is saving it, making it possible “for the tree to grow again” (187).  This moment is incredibly symbolic for Melinda and her family.  They are reconnecting through cleaning up the dead leaves and her father is foreshadowing the strength Melinda has once she lets go of the “dead” that holds her back.

            Melinda’s friends have abandoned her, not knowing the truth she hides inside.  It is when Ivy starts to reach out that Melinda and reaffirms her ability in her artwork that Melinda is able to stat acknowledging her talent. Ivy tells her, “You’re better than you think you are” (146), and to “just let it out.”  It is after Ivy tells her that she has a great start there that everything seems to turn around for Melinda, she reflects, “She’s right” (146). 

            Soon Melinda is focused on drawing trees that have life in them (153) and also have roots (160).  It is with the encouragement of Ivy and her art teacher, Mr. Freeman, who pushes her to question her trees and what is “wrong” with them that she is able to gain the “voice” when she is attacked again.  Even when Andy is attacking her, she is referencing trees, “My fingers wave overhead, looking for a branch, a limb, something to hang on to.  A block of wood—“ (195).  In the end, it is essentially a tree that saves her—in shattering the glass with the wood she is able to use a shard and stop Andy.

 While Melinda was raped, she looked up through the trees.  Through the novel she struggles with finding her voice and uses her art project and the trees around her to aid her voice.  Her final project is “definitely breathing… the bark is rough, …roots knob out of the ground… and the crown reached for the sun, tall and healthy.  The new growth is the best part” (196).  Melinda’s final tree is not perfect, but that’s what makes it just right for her.  She has been through a lot and has the scars to prove it.  She is now reaching upwards and moving forward, but most of all, she is strong:  All like the tree she has drawn.  She has been through the winter dormant stage, silent, almost dead, now she is green and growing.